Hello people!
This is my first ever post for this new blog, so keep that in mind while reading!
This blog is going to be mostly covering stuff that goes on in the life of me, and issues such as mental health, eating disorders, animal rights, travel and more!
I feel I have a lot to give to the subject of Mental Heath, being a survivor of EDNOS (OSFED), currently recovering from Anxiety with Depression, and going through the NHS Mental Health system time and time again, being put on various medications to try and treat anxiety that just doesn't seem to budge.
I first opened up about my Mental Health this time last year, while doing a charity 10k for Mind the mental health charity, which has greatly benefitted me, as living in silence was very hard. I found it so much easier once my friends and family knew what I had been struggling with, and could adapt to my needs. It has actually become much easier at Uni, as I openly talk about my mental health to some of my friends and people know what to do if I'm having a panic attack or having a down day.
I feel it will be good for me personally, as it's something that greatly affects my day to day life, and although recovered from EDNOS (OSFED), I am still reminded of it daily. Talking about it means I'm accepting that I still struggle sometimes, and that's okay.
Diagnosis is incredibly difficult nowadays, and more and more people are struggling with EDNOS, which is not as widely known as Anorexia or Bulimia, and can have many different characteristics. I myself had mixed symptoms of both Anorexia and Bulimia but was only a BMI of 18 when I was diagnosed, after gaining from a BMI of 16 previously. Because of that, I felt I didn't get appropriate treatment, and was left on the side while they treated others who had a more 'serious' condition. I was told to gain a stone, and was given no meal plan, no idea what a normal meal looked like, and brushed to the side constantly, all because my metabolism was messed up and was making me gain weight on less than 1,200 calories a day. I was given no guideline, and I feel this added to my anxiety around food, giving me anxiety around planning things out and making sure that everything was perfect. It was only until recently that I have let go, and although I am still anxious, I can eat two slices of bread for breakfast and not worry that I've had two slices in one day and that i'm going to gain a stone from it. Heck, I can eat 6 slices in one day and my only worry is that I have an addition to toast (which most people seem to have at uni)
Uni is a strange one.
I thought I would come and relapse straight away, when really I didn't. Mentally, moving away was very difficult as I was changing medication at the time and a mix of freshers and antidepressants are not good whatsoever. However, I managed to get back on track, with the help of myself and my amazing boyfriend who gives me hope of a future of happiness, through his love of life and carefree attitude. He has taught me a lot, and has helped me many times when I have been unwell.
At the moment, although my anxiety is still rocket high, I am learning to enjoy life, an accept myself for who I am.
Giving myself care and love in times of stress has definitely shown me how much I need to be kind to myself, even when I don't feel like I deserve or need it.
Looking after myself is still a learning curve for me, as I have indulged myself with many a night out that did me more bad than good. I still have a lot of anxiety about going out and drinking with friends, and don't make it out mosts nights! The main thing is, if you can't drink because of your mental health issue, thats not a problem. You can have a fun night out while not drinking, and your friends will not hate you for it! Freshers is mad, but after that everything calms down, and people really start to value sleep and bed. (I love my bed)
But most of all, this blog is to try and help people who are struggling, or have struggled. Its also to show other people who may not have struggled with mental illness what it is like, give them an understanding, and create awareness.
Anyway, thats all from me at the moment,
I hope everyone is well and I'm very excited to be starting this blog! Who knows where it will take me.
Lots of love and good vibes,
Matilda x
This is my first ever post for this new blog, so keep that in mind while reading!
This blog is going to be mostly covering stuff that goes on in the life of me, and issues such as mental health, eating disorders, animal rights, travel and more!
I feel I have a lot to give to the subject of Mental Heath, being a survivor of EDNOS (OSFED), currently recovering from Anxiety with Depression, and going through the NHS Mental Health system time and time again, being put on various medications to try and treat anxiety that just doesn't seem to budge.
I first opened up about my Mental Health this time last year, while doing a charity 10k for Mind the mental health charity, which has greatly benefitted me, as living in silence was very hard. I found it so much easier once my friends and family knew what I had been struggling with, and could adapt to my needs. It has actually become much easier at Uni, as I openly talk about my mental health to some of my friends and people know what to do if I'm having a panic attack or having a down day.
I feel it will be good for me personally, as it's something that greatly affects my day to day life, and although recovered from EDNOS (OSFED), I am still reminded of it daily. Talking about it means I'm accepting that I still struggle sometimes, and that's okay.
Diagnosis is incredibly difficult nowadays, and more and more people are struggling with EDNOS, which is not as widely known as Anorexia or Bulimia, and can have many different characteristics. I myself had mixed symptoms of both Anorexia and Bulimia but was only a BMI of 18 when I was diagnosed, after gaining from a BMI of 16 previously. Because of that, I felt I didn't get appropriate treatment, and was left on the side while they treated others who had a more 'serious' condition. I was told to gain a stone, and was given no meal plan, no idea what a normal meal looked like, and brushed to the side constantly, all because my metabolism was messed up and was making me gain weight on less than 1,200 calories a day. I was given no guideline, and I feel this added to my anxiety around food, giving me anxiety around planning things out and making sure that everything was perfect. It was only until recently that I have let go, and although I am still anxious, I can eat two slices of bread for breakfast and not worry that I've had two slices in one day and that i'm going to gain a stone from it. Heck, I can eat 6 slices in one day and my only worry is that I have an addition to toast (which most people seem to have at uni)
Uni is a strange one.
I thought I would come and relapse straight away, when really I didn't. Mentally, moving away was very difficult as I was changing medication at the time and a mix of freshers and antidepressants are not good whatsoever. However, I managed to get back on track, with the help of myself and my amazing boyfriend who gives me hope of a future of happiness, through his love of life and carefree attitude. He has taught me a lot, and has helped me many times when I have been unwell.
At the moment, although my anxiety is still rocket high, I am learning to enjoy life, an accept myself for who I am.
Giving myself care and love in times of stress has definitely shown me how much I need to be kind to myself, even when I don't feel like I deserve or need it.
Looking after myself is still a learning curve for me, as I have indulged myself with many a night out that did me more bad than good. I still have a lot of anxiety about going out and drinking with friends, and don't make it out mosts nights! The main thing is, if you can't drink because of your mental health issue, thats not a problem. You can have a fun night out while not drinking, and your friends will not hate you for it! Freshers is mad, but after that everything calms down, and people really start to value sleep and bed. (I love my bed)
But most of all, this blog is to try and help people who are struggling, or have struggled. Its also to show other people who may not have struggled with mental illness what it is like, give them an understanding, and create awareness.
Anyway, thats all from me at the moment,
I hope everyone is well and I'm very excited to be starting this blog! Who knows where it will take me.
Lots of love and good vibes,
Matilda x
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